My Testimony

I grew up going to church and attending  private, religious schools. I got really great doctrine! The part I missed was that God loved me no matter what and that I could have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. My perception of God was distant, punishing, and condemning. I prayed the rote prayers I was taught because that is "what I was supposed to do", I didn't really know what they meant. For the most part, I spent my life feeling less than and striving to earn the approval and love of others and God. I am a recovering perfectionist, so I never could get anything "just right" and always carried around a lot of pressure, guilt, and shame about that. I lived with countless "shoulds". Thankfully, I am gaining some freedom from all the lies I once believed. :)

After having my first daughter in 2006, I struggled with postpartum depression. One night I came across a special about The Duggar Family and was gripped by their huge family, their amazing faith, and the love and peace in their home. God planted a seed! During my pregnancy with my second daughter in 2009, I felt a strong desire to start reading my bible. So I pulled out my 8th grade bible and started reading. After looking around on The Duggar Family website and found the Daily Success Daily Devotional Program so I decided to try it out. The program consisted of 49 weeks of study focusing on Jesus' commands to us. They came daily via email and also included activities, character qualities, study questions, and additional resources for each week. I started this program in October 2009 and the first day I was hooked. I craved to learn more and get to know God better through Jesus. Most importantly, I knew this was the direction for my life that I had been searching for and gave my life to Christ right then and there. Immediately my heart began to change; my rebirth was underway........................... I read and listened to everything I could get my hands on. One thing I learned during that time was that most people go through a time in the wilderness immediately following their salvation, especially if they are saved as adults. That has definitely been my experience.

The past three years have been a wild ride! In that time, I found an amazing home church with wonderfully supportive and godly individuals, had another baby (my precious son), was baptized in an outdoor pond, entered into 12 Step recovery, and divorced from my husband of almost 9 years. My life has changed directions and despite the challenges, my worst day with Jesus has been better than my best day without Him!!