What is Forgiveness?

This Monday, the song I posted was Forgiveness by Matthew West. I first heard this song a few months ago and it grabbed me. I have been praying about it ever since. Not too long ago, God placed it on my heart to write about forgiveness and my experiences relating to it. So here is the first of a few posts about forgiveness.................... enjoy and be encouraged :)

In order to forgive, I need to have a resentment or perceived an offense or annoyance of some kind. Well, when I get really honest I don't have to look too far to find one of those. I just had one this morning; an individual who I felt talked too much, provided a distraction, and a slight challenge for me. A resentment can just barely scratch the surface or it can be like black ice that takes lots of work to chip away at. Regardless of the "severity", forgiveness is appropriate.

So what does forgiveness actually mean? It's a word that I had heard very often throughout my life, but was (and still sometimes am) confused by it. Since beginning an amazing journey of healing, I have heard and defined several ways to describe forgiveness. Here are a few:

"Releasing the pain/burden caused by ourselves or another."

"Releasing our offender from revenge or payment owed."

"Choosing to give up the grudge and moving on."

"Forgiveness is humility."

"Letting God deal with it and bring justice." 

There are many myths about forgiveness. It is not humiliating, a feeling, being a doormat, insincere, something that has to be earned, black and white, a quick fix, or reconciliation. Forgiveness is a choice, an action, and a process. I had so many misconceptions about forgiveness. What I have learned is that forgiveness is not black and white and there are different "levels". I can forgive someone and not have a relationship with them; I can love them from a distance. I can choose to forgive even when I don't feel like it. That when I choose to forgive, I actually release myself from bondage and suffering. I can forgive when my offender is not remorseful or asking to be forgiven. Unforgiveness affects me more than the person I resent.

How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. was the first book I read about forgiveness. Although I don't agree with everything in this read, I found it a beneficial place to start and very educational. Side note: no, I do not get any kickbacks from purchases of the book.

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What does forgiveness mean to you?