A few weeks ago, I wrote about my weekends without my children. If you haven't read it, check it out here. I have grown to look forward to and enjoy my childless weekends. Usually I quickly and effortlessly settle into the pace of single life. It's pretty easy; I can be on my own schedule, take care of only myself, and do things uninterrupted. Transitioning back to mother of three, on the other hand, can be a different story.
Due to Dad's work schedule, our weekend runs from Saturday morning until Monday morning .This has worked out very well for all of us. Usually after the 48 hours is up I am really looking forward to seeing my kiddos. After that time period it is feeling pretty foreign to be childless. I am looking forward to a hug and the sound of little giggles. It's kind of like child birth, you selectively remember the good stuff. :) The difficulty in transitioning back to mom of three is the not so fun stuff: sibling arguments, tantrums, defiance, and the pressure of lots of responsibility resting on my shoulders. There is also a part of me that has to "die" when the kids come back. Hear me out on this one! When I am on my own, I have to check in with God and myself about doing something and that's it. I have so much freedom to be spontaneous and go with the flow. When the kids come home, it's not just about me anymore. I have three precious blessings who are depending on me to make healthy and wise choices for them. Many of my desires have to take a backseat and "die" in order to meet the needs of my children. Does that mean that I can't and don't do anything that I like when I am in my mom role? Of course not! But as all mothers know, there is a tremendous amount of sacrifice that comes with the honor of our position on the front lines of raising children. Thankfully, the rewards of motherhood far outweigh the challenges! However, we often have to wait to see the fruits of our labor.
So what do I do while I'm single to recharge? I am an introvert by nature so I need lots of quiet, alone time while the kids are away. I need to think freely without distractions, move at a slow pace, participate in activities that I enjoy, complete projects, and spend time with friends and family. I carefully guard my time and make every effort not to plan too much. I also refuse to spend my entire weekend doing chores and catching up on things that didn't get done during the week. Basically, I need a break from the usual routines and an opportunity to really get in touch with my needs and wants, which can sometimes get lost in the shuffle of three children and other responsibilities. I need to connect with and take care of Shannon as a woman and take off my mom cape for a bit. I have to spend lots of time in prayer with God asking Him to prepare me and the kids as I transition back to parenting and them back to mom's house.
When the kids come home one of a few things happen. If I am feeling completely energized, the first day back is usually the honeymoon period as everyone adjusts and enjoys each other's company. That is unless the kids are tired from a busy weekend. In that case, they usually want a break from each other, lots of one-on-one time with me, rest, and structure. Those times are hard because there is not enough of me to go around and it often feels like I am putting out fires much of the time. On the Monday mornings that I am dragging and lacking the energy needed to parent optimally are usually a struggle for me. I am still "dying" to my desires and doing my best to welcome my children home with open arms, give them my time and attention, and enjoy them. Those are the days that bring me back to God minute after minute crying out for help. Then I remember how Jesus always welcomed children to Him. He was never too busy, disinterested, or important for them. He showed that children are blessings and should never be treated as burdens. There are many commands throughout the Bible telling parents to invest in the lives of their children and not to provoke them to anger. I think about God, my Heavenly Father, and how He never turns me away whenever I come to Him. All of these things give me the strength and the discipline to use the Holy Spirit's power in my life to exercise the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control - Galatians 5: 22-23).
I am so grateful that I get to experience being single and motherhood, I get a taste of both worlds. Changing between these two extremes help my life to be more balanced and allows me to experience lots of diversity. But at the end of the day, motherhood wins hands down! I know it is one of the main reasons I was put on this earth and it is a part of me that will never die!
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| Motherhood............. PRICELESS!!!! |
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