Sugarland - Fall Into Me

This is a song that I love! It always help to comfort me when I need it. It reminds me to run with complete abandon into God's arms. He is waiting for me and will give me everything I need! Click the album cover below to listen.

Doing Something Different

If you do what you always did, you are going to get what you always got!

So what does that mean? I have to do something different.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Simple concepts, yes. Incredibly hard to do. But completely possible and totally worth it!

Sometimes it's scary, other times it's inconvenient, it may be just plain uncomfortable and unnatural.

So what do I do? I make a choice; do what I always did or do something different. If it isn't broken, don't fix it and keep going in the same direction. If I want a new outcome, I have to choose a new action. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Am I going to be insane or not? The choice is mine!

Prior to 2 years ago, if you asked me if I was insane, I would have answered you with a strong "absolutely not". I thought I was the saneist person I knew. Haha, the joke was on me! I love that God has a sense of humor. Thank goodness for the clarity of hindsight. Looking back, I can vividly see much of my craziness and boy was I out of control. I still am sometimes, but I can often recognize it now and have amazing people in my life who lovingly and truthfully help me do reality checks. What a gift those are, even if I don't like to admit it right away.

So what has changed for me over the past 2 years? Practically everything!!! Maybe not externally, but internally God has rocked my world! My way of life and outlook have done a 180. This has been tough for a girl who has a tendency to fight change regardless of how beneficial it is. I am learning that I can cross my arms a different way, take risks, be spontaneous, break my "rules", open up myself to new people and experiences, and approach the world through new eyes. Scary, yes. Worth it, absolutely! Nothing changes until the discomfort of the past and present overpower the fear of the future. But when it does, oh how sweet life gets!

Precious Moments: Christmas Day

I previously posted about my feelings and attitudes toward Christmas this year in a posted titled, Christmas Tree O Christmas Tree. In short, I was not into the commercial side of Christmas at all this year. I had the kids for Christmas Eve through Christmas morning and then they went with Dad for the rest of the day. I was determined to enjoy Christmas with my kids despite my feelings. I had experienced numerous blessings leading up until the holiday and my heart was overjoyed with the true meaning of the season. I resolved that our Christmas morning was going to reflect that and I would do my best to stay in the moment and find joy right where I was, while ignoring all of the other stinkin thinkin and feelings that had surfaced for me.

So here goes................. I woke up on Christmas morning feeling tired after Christmas Eve celebrations with family and then waiting for the kiddos to be completely sound asleep before playing Santa. I prayed hard, knew I only had to hold it together for a few hours, and waited. Finally around 7:30 am (which is a sleep in for my crew), I heard little feet coming to my room.

Feeling the excitement radiating from the kids was fun and definitely boosted me! I decided that I wanted to be truly present while they were opening gifts. I was and it was an amazing blessing! Here is what I observed and experienced.

I proudly watched as my children were grateful for and excited about everything from the big gifts to the smallest detail. This reminds me of a very memorable moment from the Christmas of 2011. Ella opened an automatic Hello Kitty toothbrush and shouted, "Just what I wanted!" This was the most heartfelt reaction by far to any of the gifts all of the kids had received. I just love the simplicity of kids!

Anyways, done with my tangent :) This Christmas while I got quiet and intently watched my kids, I saw three distinct "gift unwrapping personalities" and I watched with wonder and saw similarities between how each child opened their gifts and their temperaments. It was a lot of fun!

Ella savored unwrapping by saving most of her gifts until after Mya and Cal had finished. She wanted to help and watch her siblings and experience all of the excitement with them before the climax of seeing what she received. She didn't want it to end! Ella was the Savoring Opener.

Mya was the fiery opener. She tore through her presents like the Tazmanian Devil. She couldn't get through them fast enough! She was done with all of hers and ready to get the toys out of the packages before Ella and Cal had gotten through two gifts. There was no savoring here, just pure unleashed excitement and focus! Mya was the Assembly Line Opener.

Cal was a slow opener who played with everything after he unwrapped it. He was so taken with everything that he saw and got completely absorbed in it that he didn't care about anything else. He was excited with the toys and boxes equally. He had an elaborate train garage and track set up pretty quickly! Cal was the Reluctant Opener.

What a blessing it is to truly be present for the precious moments of our lives! Please comment and share your precious moments, I would love to read them!

Below are some of our fun Christmas pictures from this year :)

My Heart

                                    

Happy Easter and Resurrection Sunday! My heart has overflowed with love, thanksgiving, adornment, and awe this week. Thinking about the true meaning of Easter and why we celebrate is overwhelming at times. To think that Jesus voluntarily died on the cross for our sins and then overcame death by rising up to heaven to be with his father. That is something that is very difficult for my human mind to truly wrap itself around. Jesus who was fully man and fully God chose to offer himself as a sacrifice for my sins so I could be acceptable to God and live with Him in eternity. Really? Jesus, I haven't even met you, are you sure? I ask these questions in my humanness and I hear the small but sure whisper in my heart........ "YES!" So I must have to do something to earn this, to make myself somewhat worthy of this, to repay him. Now here is the kicker, all I have to do is believe in Jesus and follow him. Simple..... yes. Easy...... not always. Worth it? TOTALLY! 

In order to follow Jesus I have to get to know him. I do this in many ways. Through prayer, reading the Bible, worshiping, spending time and sharing with others, serving, recovering from unhealthiness, healing pain, and surrendering to and obeying him. The more I open my heart to him, the more he changes me and transforms my life in amazing ways.

I have been spending a lot of time this week reflecting on where I was a year ago and thanking God for the incredible ways He has worked in my life. I am speechless when I think about where I am now compared to where I have been in the past. Only God. I'm so thankful that I am not looking to other people and things to do what only He can do! My heart has been captured by Jesus, he is my first love!

Today while worshiping at church and thinking about all this, God gave me the best image to represent this change that has happened in my heart. He first gave me the image of a heart of stone being transformed into a living, beating heart. Then I saw the Grinch at the end of the movie when his heart grew three sizes when he discovered the true meaning of Christmas. That is a great depiction of how God has worked in my heart....... he took my heart of stone, replaced it with a living one, and He grows it all the time. Just when I think it will burst from love and gratitude, He increases its capacity to receive and give these gifts and I am amazed every time! God has turned me from a Grinch into a follower of Jesus, my heart and life are forever changed.


                                      

Precious Moments

No, not the little figurines. To be honest, I never really liked those :) What I am talking about are the precious moments that occur everyday. Am I present and tuned in to them or am I stuck in the past, projecting into the future, or just lost inside myself? 5 weeks ago I started a part time job. It has been a big adjustment, especially since I haven't worked regularly in over 6 years. Every mom knows about "Mommy Guilt". It comes with the territory of motherhood no matter what you do. I have experienced a new flavor of it since beginning my job.

"Am I spending enough quality time with the kids? Will they get everything they need from me? Are they feeling pushed aside or neglected now that I have less time with them? What am I missing while I am gone? How do I fit everything in?" 

These are just a few of the questions that have burdened me over the past few weeks. I know the root of all of these is fear and insecurity. So what do I do about it? Am I going to be part of the problem or the solution? Will I allow this stinkin' thinkin' to swallow me or will I do my best to swim to shore? I have chosen to keep swimming. Instead of focusing on what has changed and what I don't have, I am striving to zero in on what I do have and making the most of it.

I have precious moments all day long that make my heart smile if I just stay in the present! 

When I "live in the now" as Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) says in the movie Wayne's World, I get to experience so many amazing things that happen everyday.

 Today I had countless precious moments that I am thankful to have been truly present to experience and savor: good morning hugs from the kids, 5 minutes alone with Ella while waiting for the bus, peaceful 15 minute rides to and from work, the excited running and hugs from the kids when I came home, Cal's laughter just before bedtime, snuggling with the girls, hearing about the kids' April Fool's pranks, Mya hugging me tight even after I corrected her, and the hug from a stranger who I had the privilege of blessing today.

Thank you God for the many precious moments that you bless me with every day. Please help me to stay in the present with a positive outlook so I can experience all of them.

Jason Gray - More Like Falling in Love [LYRICS]

It's amazing how life changes when it becomes a love story and not a religion! Check out this awesome song!




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKTW-srvr6E  

Encouraging Site

I just came across this site and it is very encouraging! She also does several give-aways, with a really great one going on right now. She is giving away a book written by Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. If you haven't read her before, she is very down to earth and speaks lots of love and encouragement from her personal experience. The book being given away is titled, What Happens When Young Women Say Yes to God! This would be a great book to read and share with our daughters (maybe when they get a little older depending on their age) and other young women in our lives. Check it out!!

http://joyinthetruth.blogspot.com